I assuming that many of you also struggle with negotiating so I searched out someone to help us with our negotiating skills. I found Jim Thomas who wrote the book Negotiate to Win.
Jim and I chat about the basic principles of negotiating through his 21 rules for successful negotiating. Enjoy this discussion with Jim Thomas as he discusses his principles, techniques and steps to help us all become better negotiators. Please accept marketing and statistics cookies to view this content. I ask the price, if I am okay with it, I buy.
I never ask for a different price. Same goes for fuel dealer or parts person. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam.
Learn how your comment data is processed. Skip to content. Richard Shell translates his understanding of these elements into tactical advice. Professor Shell runs the Wharton Executive Negotiation Workshop, and his book is a comprehensive manual, including theory, examples, and practical tips.
This new version of a edition is so thoroughly revised that it is worth including among the best books of this year. Bargaining for Advantage points out that different individuals have different negotiating styles and includes a self-assessment tool for helping readers determine their style. Different styles suit different situations: The collaborative, problem-solving negotiator is well suited to complex negotiations in which the ongoing relationship matters; the competitive negotiator to simpler, zero-sum negotiations.
We cannot always choose the type of negotiation we enter into, but we can choose the negotiator who represents us, or the persona we take on when we negotiate for ourselves. The recognition that not everyone needs the same lessons marks Professor Shell as a sophisticated educator. He also showcases wisdom, particularly in his tales of great negotiators.
There was very little interest until Bulova offered to buy , units, a deal that would have been hugely profitable for Sony. Unfortunately, Bulova insisted that the radios be marketed under the Bulova brand name. Morita agonized and cabled his board for instructions. They did not hesitate and told him to accept the deal. However, he did not follow their instructions, rejected the deal, and somewhat later secured a less lucrative distribution arrangement that allowed Sony to use its own brand name.
The negotiation had crystallized Mr. This knowledge helped him take the risk of turning down Bulova. He dismisses negotiators who aim to discover the true needs and interests of the other party. As he imagines it:. Is this a recognition thing for you? An empowerment thing? Do you feel my company has not treated you with enough respect in the past?
To its credit, the book always explains the logic of its advice. It is not especially original, but it is punchy, no-nonsense, and humane. Although Mr. Thomas has a more competitive style than Professor Shell, he places just as much emphasis on the importance on relationships and is actually tougher on ethics, stating categorically that negotiators should never lie. Instead, the Thomas-guided negotiator seeks a win-win deal, meaning that both parties feel they have achieved their objectives even if they have not maximized their gain.
Ironically, this discussion of purpose is the one place where the hard-edged and ruthless Mr. Thomas turns out to be a bit too benevolent. Of course you have to keep the other side alive if you want to work with them again — but only just long enough to fulfill your objectives. In reality, as I have found in my year career as a professional negotiator, it is more useful to stay focused on balancing short- and long-term outcomes.
Optimizing the latter may require modification to the negotiating strategy.
This does not necessarily mean being soft — indeed, one of the classic justifications for adopting a tough negotiating stance is the need to manage future expectations. A vivid example is negotiations with terrorists, which might involve short-term concessions, but only if they are not seen as leading to long-term loss of control over the situation.
A more everyday case is traditional employment negotiations, in which an unequal power relationship established at the outset may prove very useful later to the party that starts with the upper hand — this is usually, although not always, the employer. This may not sound very nice, but it is reality. The fact is that there are many negotiated injustices in the world, and good efficient negotiation is not always good moral negotiation.
One of Mr. The authors make plain that negotiation is not just a matter of logic, but of emotion, too. For most of his career, he has been on record as saying that the single critical factor in the ability of a negotiator is clear thinking and logical capability. But his coauthor, Dan Shapiro, is a trained clinical psychiatrist.
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The book thus makes a good case that successful negotiators do not suppress feeling. Emotional skill is also directly related to the art of negotiation: the ability to express emotion in a way that encourages others to recognize and express their own feelings, and thus influence what is going on more effectively. There is also a link to science. Good negotiators do not try to manage emotions directly, because emotions are too complex and fluid.
When these concerns are satisfied, then people feel positive. When they are not, people tend to feel negative.
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It is easier to negotiate with someone who feels positive than with someone who feels negative — and when feeling positive rather than negative oneself. Accordingly, the bulk of the book is about how to help others and yourself satisfy these concerns. A negotiator does not have to expect a long-term relationship with his or her counterparty to benefit from predominantly positive feelings on both sides of the table. For example, optimism helps generate the kind of problem-solving approach that can unblock an impasse. Anger on the other side can reduce your leverage, encouraging the other side to walk when a coolly rational perspective would keep them in the room.
Above all, positive emotions help build trusting relationships, which, whether or not they last beyond the negotiations themselves, help the parties think creatively and make less risky concessions. Begin had asked for autographed pictures of Carter, Sadat and himself to give to his grandchildren.
Carter personalized each picture with the name of a Begin grandchild. During the stalemate in talks, Carter handed Begin the photographs. This was a turning point in the negotiation. Professor Fisher and Mr. The book is well structured and extremely clear, with good examples.
Much of it will be useful in a far wider range of situations than the negotiating table. Perhaps the most interesting part of the book is an account by the former president of Ecuador, Jamil Mahuad, of his negotiations with President Alberto Fujimori of Peru to settle a long-running border dispute in the Amazon. A turning point came when Professor Fisher advised the two presidents to be photographed not simply shaking hands, but poring over a map, pencils in hand.
This created an expectation in both countries that a solution would be found and that the presidents would be responsible. Together, these three books make clear one thing that none of them emphasizes heavily enough: Negotiation and leadership are inextricably linked. Good negotiators must think about the interests of all the parties concerned — their objectives, style, and tactics.